Rep. Doogan in Juneau: SPECIAL AIN’T SEEN NOTHIN’ LIKE IT EDITION

Well, That Was Interesting

We watched the death of Sean Parnell’s latest attempt to hand $2 billion a year to his pals at British Petroleum, ConocoPhillips and Exxon this week. Or maybe it was just badly wounded. Various lawyers have said different things about what happened – yeah, I know. But what can you do? They’re lawyers—but the smart bet is that Parnell killed his own bill. After calling us into special session just 10 days ago to get us to pass it.

All I can say is, gloriosky. I’ve been to two goat ropings and a county fair and I’ve never seen anything like this before.

Rep. Doogan in Juneau: Special Stuck in Lodi Again Edition

Well, isn’t that “Special?”

Now playing at your local LIO: The Further Adventures of Sean Parnell, Governor Extraordinaire.

Starring Parnell as, God help us, himself. With special appearances by the Mikes (Chenault and Hawker, that is). Produced by the friendly folks at BP, Conoco and Exxon, and assistant producers AOGA, the Alliance and the “Make Alaska Competitive Coalition.”

Rep. Doogan in Juneau: SPECIAL HERE WE GO AGAIN EDITION

Just an hour away from a clean getaway

The legislature starts a special session Wednesday, the eighth in the six years I’ve been a part of the circus. There’s a lot of wailing and gnashing of teeth about this, especially among the freelance commentators, a surprisingly large number of whom can actually spell simple words. Unfortunately, all they have to offer to the discussion is spleen, and we’ve got plenty of that already.

Rep. Doogan in Juneau: SPECIAL FAREWELL TO A DEAR FRIEND EDITION

Carl Gatto, 1937-2012

In a building full of people known for their superhuman capacities for hot air and occasional hyperventilation, it’s rare that something happens with the power to suck the air out of the building. The passing of a very good friend, Rep. Carl Gatto from Palmer, has done just that.

Carl’s death hit the Legislature very hard this week, and I know it took a heavy toll on me. Carl came to the House of Representatives in 2003, and I joined a few years later. I liked him from the start. There are a lot of reasons for that.

Rep. Doogan in Juneau: SPECIAL I’M THINKING ABOUT MAKING A RUN FOR IT EDITION

Four bills Nine Days = Chaos

Nine days from the scheduled end of the session and we’re sending House bills to the Senate. Not to be too inside about it, but that means one of two things: 1) those bills are D-E-D dead; 2) we are going to be here longer than 90 days.

All the talk here is about option #2. Here’s why.

There are four important bills left: the operating budget, the capital budget, the bill to greatly expand the power of a new agency to build an in-state gas pipeline (HB 9) and the bill to hand more money to the oil industry (SB 192).

Rep. Doogan in Juneau: SPECIAL I REALLY NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE EDITION

Thomas Jefferson we ain’t

Welcome to constitutional amendment week. Please don your powdered wig and listen up.

I’m not a big fan of constitutional amendments. Some of them, like the one establishing a right to privacy, are great. The jury is still out on others, like the Alaska Permanent Fund. Still others, the one outlawing same-sex marriage, for instance, are a stupid mistake.

Rep. Doogan in Juneau: SPECIAL LIMPING INTO THE HOME STRETCH EDITION

Bills, We Got Bills

Yesterday was the 66th day of the legislative session. Puts me in mind of the fabulous old TV show Route 66, Tod and Buz off to discover America in a ’59 Corvette. And, of course, it is 2/3s of the Number of the Beast as found in Revelations, an extremely dour book of the Bible.

So it is either an invitation to escape (only 24 days left!!!) or a harbinger of disaster (extended session, special session, name calling!!!). Take your pick.

Rep. Doogan in Juneau: SPECIAL ATTENTION! FREE PIZZA SOON EDITION

Take two amendments and call me in the morning

It appears that serving in the Alaska State House of Representatives could be bad for your health.

And not just your mental health, either. (Although some of these committee meetings do leave me even more befuddled than usual.) I’m talking physical health.

Rep. Doogan in Juneau: SPECIAL RAGING AGAINST THE MACHINE EDITION

To Tell the Truth

We had big fun in the House of Representatives Wednesday.

First, we listened to a speech by the chief justice of the Alaska Supreme Court. I have lots and lots respect for the chief justice – especially since a guy never knows when he might get hauled in front of the court – but I have to say that the hour-long speech might have been just a skosh longer than my attention span. But then I’ve never been accused of having the longest attention span anyway.

Rep. Doogan in Juneau: SPECIAL MORE PROOF THAT WOMEN ARE TAKING OVER THE WORLD EDITION

Two Women, Two Jobs, One Conclusion

I had the pleasure of talking with two fine women on Thursday, U.S. Sen. Lisa Murkowski and state Ombudsman Linda Lord-Jenkins. Both women have tough jobs and are doing them well.

Pretty much everybody in Alaska knows Murkowski. I met her when she was a state legislator and I was an ink-stained wretch. She was thoughtful and hard-working and, for the most part, non-partisan. Oh, she was – and still is – a Republican, but I always thought she was – and is – more interested in doing things the right way rather than the party way.