Rep. Doogan in Juneau: SPECIAL OIL TAXES AGAIN. AND AGAIN. AND AGAIN. EDITION

Sean Parnell, Last of the Big Spenders

The Parnell administration is still flailing around, trying to find a pretext for hitting the oil industry in the palm with $1 billion or $2 billion a year until the sun goes out.

The rocket surgeons at the state Department of Revenue have tried a bunch of reasons for giving our money away: more jobs, more state revenue and keeping the trans-Alaska pipeline working. Finally, they settled on – all three. Plus anything else they can think of. Why, I once heard Commissioner of Revenue Bryan Butcher say that if we didn’t support the giveaway, we’d all have bad breath and dingy teeth. I immediately made a vow to switch my position on oil taxes – and floss more often.

Rep. Doogan in Juneau: SPECIAL READ SOME OTHER WRITER EDITION

What, oil companies might not be telling the truth?

Dermot Cole, the columnist for the Fairbanks News-Miner, has been doing a bang-up job writing about how poorly the state is doing in extracting information from the oil companies and releasing it to the public.

If that sounds like a discussion that would put you to sleep so fast you’d get a concussion when your head hit the table, here are a couple of things to consider.

Rep. Doogan in Juneau: SPECIAL BROTHER CAN YOU SPARE $10 BILLION EDITION

I have started to try to get support for my bill to put $10 billion into the Alaska Permanent Fund. The bill is in the Powerful House Finance Committee, of which I am an insignificant member. I haven’t asked for a hearing yet; I want all the members of the House to have a chance to think about it first.

The bill has about the same chance to pass as a snowflake in Hades. There are many bills that offer us the chance to spend, spend, spend. Since spending is much more popular than saving – particularly in an election year – you can write your own script for poor House Bill 194. It won’t have a happy ending. But I’ll give you my pitch anyway.

Rep. Doogan in Juneau: SPECIAL SHAVE THE WHALES – AND GIVE THE POLAR BEARS A HAIRCUT – EDITION

I really like Kyle Johansen. At least this week. Johansen, the Republican representative from Ketchikan, introduced a resolution Monday that was both funny and pointed. We see pointed ones all the time. But funny ones are thin on the ground. Very thin.

Now, resolutions don’t pack much punch. One legislator – I forget who – described resolutions as “letters to ourselves.” Since I’ve been in the Leg, we’ve sent many, many, many resolutions to the President and Congress, telling them to stop doing X or to send us a bunch of money for Y. So far as I can tell, the President and Congress have been impervious to our stern but well considered words about X. Unfortunately, they seem to be sending less and less money for Y, too.

Rep. Doogan in Juneau: SPECIAL HE’S BACK! EDITION

Here I am. Again. It appears that the wages of sin are not death. They are 90 days in Juneau.

No, that’s not true. I like Juneau. And I have, for the most part, enjoyed my time in the legislature. It has been interesting and difficult, odd and entertaining. I have made some friends and a few enemies. You’d be surprised which was which. I know I was.

Rep. Mike Doogan in Juneau: SPECIAL NUMBERS ARE HARD EDITION

I’ve been closing out the state operating budget all week. If that sounds like I’ve been performing some vital and important function, I haven’t. I’ve been working on a small part of the long and complicated process that produces a budget every year. Without it, there’d be no public schools for your kids, no police to round up miscreants and no guards to keep them inside.

Rep. Mike Doogan in Juneau: SPECIAL BIG PROJECTS AND BIG PLANS EDITION

Don’t Forget the Water Pipeline

Old projects never die. They just fade away – until the legislature has more money than it knows what to do with.

Rep. Mike Doogan in Juneau: SPECIAL HOW SLOW CAN YOU GO EDITION

Sauntering Through The Session?

Richard Foster was, in my estimation anyway, the funniest man who ever served in the Alaska Legislature. And one of his favorite sayings was: The legislative session starts slowly – and after that gets … slower.