SPECIAL NOT-MUCH-HAPPENED THIS WEEK EDITION

Bon Voyage, Open and Transparent

Gov. Sarah Palin’s vow of a clear and transparent government took one in the eye this week when she met behind the closed doors of the Governor’s Mansion with leaders of the state House and Senate.

The stated reason for the meeting was to discuss the state’s approach to the federal stimulus package, $800 billion-plus in spending that’s supposed to kick-start a failing national economy. Legislators, particularly members of the Senate’s ruling coalition, have been critical of the fact that Palin asked for only five specific projects totaling about $175 million. Palin claims Alaska will get a lot more than that through federal formula programs. But nobody’s saying just how much money would go where under the formulas.

What happened at the meeting? Only the people who were there know. Legislative leaders left the mansion wrapped in a fog of clichés about “fiscal responsibility” and “working together.” When Palin emerged, the assembled press corps was more interested in her reported book deal than the just-ended meeting about what’s been estimated to be about $1 billion in free money from Uncle Sam.

About all the general public learned from the meeting is that it is time to retire “Open and Transparent Government” to the Old Political Slogans Home, where it can sit and reminisce with other slogans like “Open and Ready for Business” and “New Energy for Alaska” about how important they were before they lost their meaning.

So Long, Cook Inlet Task Force

The powerful Cook Inlet Salmon Task Force, of which I am a powerful member, held what is supposed to be its final meeting on Thursday. We heard Anchorage economist Gunnar Knapp tell us that there’s really no certain way to tell if sport-caught salmon are more valuable than commercial-caught salmon.

Why is that important? Well, not enough fish have been getting back to the rivers of the Mat-Su Valley to satisfy sport and personal use fishermen. They think the problem is that too many are being caught by commercial fishermen. And if a sport-caught fish is worth more to the Alaska economy than a commercial-caught fish, it would be a strong argument to limit commercial fishing and allow more fish to reach the streams.

But, of course, nothing’s that simple. Some people say that commercial fishing isn’t the problem, it’s that the Department of Fish and Game’s fish-counting system is screwed up, so we don’t know how many fish are getting into the streams. Others say that the pike that some idiot or idiots dumped into Mat-Su lakes are eating the salmon. And still others say: Fish. If you could figure them out, you’d make a billion dollars.

I said at the outset of the task force’s work that if the science was good enough to give us answers, we might be able to do something. Well, it isn’t. So probably the only concrete result of the task force will be to pay several million dollars for more research that might help the Board of Fish, or the next task force, make some good decisions.

Not So Fast, Troopergate

The house Judiciary Committee held a hearing this week on one aspect of the multi-tentacled Troopergate fiasco, this one the question of why the state’s Attorney General told people not to obey legislative subpoenas.

The attorney general, Talis Colberg, or course denied telling people that, but said he and his legal wizards did think the subpoenas weren’t legal because not enough small animals were sacrificed to make them so.

Or something like that. I mean, the guy’s a lawyer, he talks very softly and he was trying to prop up an outright loser of a position, so who knows what he really said.

People who love Sarah Palin – no matter what Colberg said, the governor is his only real client – will say he was right, right, right. Those who hate Palin will say he was wrong, wrong, wrong. And the rest of us will be left trying to figure out how to keep the couple hundred lawyers in the Department of Law from sticking their noses into the legislature’s business the next time.

Odds & Ends

   -- If junior’s math homework has exceeded your figuring skills – the sort of thing that used to happen to me all the time when my kids were younger – there’s help. The Alaska State Library offers help for students from kindergarten to college. Just go to www.sled.alaska.edu/databases.

   -- The state Department of Transportation bought some equipment to plow sidewalks along its streets in Anchorage, with money the legislature gave them last year. Generally, those are the big streets that are the scariest to walk in, which happens all too often when snow from the streets is plowed up onto the sidewalks. Now, there are machines to move the snow off the sidewalks. All that’s needed is the money to pay people to run the plows. Oh, well. It’s always something.

   -- Here’s an early warning for people who live in the district I represent, House District 25, and the one next door, House District 26. It looks like Rep. Lindsey Holmes, who represents District 26, yours truly and Sen. Hollis French, who represents both House districts, will be in Anchorage on March 14 to serve pizza and chat with constituents. I’ll have more details later, but you can pencil the date in now.

Later,